On workplace gangs and the narcissistic boss.
Let's talk about workplace gangs and how they come into creation.
You've heard of the Office Culture before. You've been to job interviews where it may or may not be clear that the interviewer/boss is looking for someone who not only can do the job, but also fits in with the office culture.
Then you have micro-office cultures. This is when a boss within the department has certain emotional/ego needs that must be satisfied.
Some people notice this and cater to said boss with good results. Others notice this and cannot be bothered to stroke the boss's ego. This does not go unnoticed by the boss. Others don't notice this and are invited by the boss to conform and comply.
If you're there to do your work, and keep your head down, sadly you may get caught up in this unwittingly.
The boss is under the illusion that they have more power over you than they have. So when through your actions you dispossess them of that illusion, you become a threat to the boss’ belief about themselves.
And that sadly is when your boss doubles down and asserts themself to get you to notice who's the boss.
This is not good for the company, or the department. But the TEAM (as the boss sees it), is formed of people who are willing to be 'Team players'
And if you're not willing to be a team player the way the boss sees it, then they will try all sorts of things to make your life difficult from giving you the jobs that are not so nice, to making you stay late, to not promoting you when your output is better than others, to spreading gossip about you, to disagreeing with you most of the time, sometimes in front of others, to being sarcastic with you, to making a case for your dismissal.
How you handle this situation determines how happy you're going to be in your day to day life at the office.
Potential solutions:
1. One solution could be to cave in, start sucking up to your boss and become a team-player.
But I suspect if you were that kind of person, you would have done it from the beginning.
You're in this situation because
i) Perhaps you don't see why you should have to, or
ii) Perhaps because you see through your boss and find them petty and childish.
iii) Perhaps you don't respect that aspect of your boss's personality and you have too much respect for yourself to demean yourself by becoming their lackey.
iv) Your schedule is such that you can't possibly be the sort of team-player your boss wants you to be (eg. going out drinking after work with colleagues, that you don't particularly care for.
v) Some other reason personal to you.
So it's safe to say, this is not a solution for you. Because if you were going to do it, you would have done it from the beginning.
And trying to adopt those behaviours now, is probably too little too late.
But one thing's for sure. If you carry on keeping your nose clean and doing what you've been doing, you're going to be unhappy.
So no action is not a solution.
2. Another solution could be to start confronting your boss, and the sheep who suck up to them, as a way to ask for fairness. But that tactic would suggest, you haven't grasped the person that is your boss; The narcissist who seeks constant approval and credibility.
This tactic would ensure your life becomes unbearable very quickly.
3. A third solution could be to quit. But that's not always an easy option as that boss may be your referee for your next job, or you'll interview for your next job with no reference from your current employer. This is assuming you can find another job quickly that satisfies your financial and career requirements.
The solution therefore is to be smarter in the way you do things. In your interaction with your colleagues and co-workers, in your interactions with your boss and your boss's boss.
Everyone has their own definition of 'smarter'. But there's one way of being smarter that actually works and will start to put the ball back in your court.
Workplace gangs are formed by the water-cooler, in pubs or bars after work, in meeting rooms. They are formed by one person taking the lead to denigrate a colleague and the others following like sheep.
If you're currently facing a bully dynamic at work, and you've tried everything, you're going to need help. Remember, no action is not an option, unless you want to keep being unhappy every day of your working week.
I have dealt with these situations many times successfully at different places of employment and at different ages. There are a few things you need in your arsenal to be 'smarter' when dealing with a workplace bully dynamic.
The help you need must be personal to you, because it will be you who will be putting it into action. So it will have to be a collaborative strategy.
Reach out to me. Let’s put a stop to the nonsense before it gets out of hand. And if it’s already out of hand, you’re going to need help.
contact@truthinemotion.com
Bear in mind that every situation is different and the reason for coming to a Specialist Anti-Bullying Coach is the benefit of their Experience with bullying and knowledge of dealing with each problem.
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Michael Franklin is a Specialist Anti-Bullying Coach, utilizing elements from the worlds of Acting, Psychology and Body Language to help sufferers of the effects of bullying develop the skills needed to rid themselves of their bully problem.
