My Battles with myself!
Are you being over-worked?
One of the ways to self-empowerment is to recognize that perhaps you're being asked to do more than your regular hours on a recurring basis, because you've failed to stand up and say "It's not okay". Perhaps the battle of empowerment here is won first in your own mind. To recognize that your work-life balance is off-balance! And that time doing over-work is time away from your family, from your me-time, from much needed exercise, or much needed distance to gain perspective.
Many people battle with their "People-pleasing nature" in that way. They don't want to say No. They want to be amenable, to please. Some believe being a Yes-person comes with rewards, promotions, etc. And sometimes that is true. But when does People-pleasing become self-sabotage instead of self-investment?
If you're in a situation where you've won the battle with yourself that you need to say No, as a way of self-care, then you have to win the battle of telling it to your employer. But usually, this battle is far easier that you made it out to be in your own head. The right words, the right tonality, with the right employer will give you back your loss of time. And Yes, once in a while with the not-so-right employer, it will mean asserting yourself in the right way; Highlighting the values that you bring to the Company or Team will paint the picture in a better way, than asserting yourself purely through a battle of wills.
Either way, the harder battle is with your own mind, your own imaginings, and your own nature.
If you've never believed that we bully ourselves in order to please others, to be liked, to not be thought of as anything but helpful, it's time to reassess. Your best friend is always the friend who takes account of the entire picture, not just the future, and not just your work, but your health (spiritual and physical), the health of your relationships, and your time to devote to your passions.
Comment below if recently you've had one such battle with yourself, and how did you fare? Does reading this highlight it as something you really need to get a handle on? Or remind you of a promise you made to yourself which you've let slip.
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Every bullying situation is different and a Specialist Anti-Bullying Coach can tailor how you deal with your bully with you, in a way that empowers you and in a way that you can action.
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Michael Franklin is a Specialist Anti-Bullying Coach, utilizing elements from the worlds of Acting, Psychology and Body Language to help sufferers of the effects of bullying develop the skills needed to rid themselves of their bully problem.
